Club Members

Stalybridge Motorcycle Club

Den Whittaker.
A founding member of the club and don’t we know it, very outspoken when it comes to matters concerning the club and probably the main reason SMC is still going. Den hasn’t bought any new clothes since the 80’s, all his t-shirts have the trademark boulder burns of a man who likes a drink and a smoke and his jeans have the waistline of a man who loves his tater pie just a little too much. Den currently rides a Yamaha Virago 1100 and some kind of BSA.

Daz Taylor.
The first person everybody calls when something goes wrong, be it Mats brakes catching fire or Les opening his shed door. Daz hasn’t seen daylight in months and has morphed into a hunchbacked Gollum like creature because he spends the majority of his time in his garage tinkering with his collection of bikes, an incurable perfectionist Daz will not settle until every scratch has been buffed out and every bolt polished to a mirror shine. Daz is our “Glorious Leader” and as such has to try and coerce us into some kind of order, he isn’t always successful and to be honest we doubt he’d want to be. Daz rides an FJR 1300. The rest are just for shows and usually make it there in the back of his van.

Anita ‘Neet’ Whittaker.
Another founding member and the current Treasurer, Neet is the clubs ‘Mother’, a mix of the kind from the cow and gate adverts and an outlaw clubs Sergeant at Arms. She is believed to be part Tasmanian devil due to her willingness to fight anyone regardless of their size, thankfully she does not eat them as she obtains all her calories from the cans of Stella Artois she is seldom seen without. At events she is usually accompanied by any combination of Den, one of the Phils, Mat or Stuart who are commonly mistaken for bodyguards, in actual fact they are there for YOUR protection as Anita will often drink so much that she cannot stand or will fall asleep under tables, this makes her especially dangerous as she will then bite clean through your ankles if surprised. Anita owns a Virago 535

Alan Watson.
A long term member of SMC. Al has a wealth of stories about the old days which any prospective new members would do well to listen to, it proves we weren’t always the bunch of pissheads we are now, we were considerably worse. Al is always the first to put his name down for a rideout and will often go out on his own if no one else is up for it, he knows many of the best routes unknown to other club members as he is often the only one to actually go anywhere on his bike. Al seems to be surgically attached to his Triumph Benneville 865.

Lesley ‘sausage fingers’ Hall.
Les is one of the more single minded members of SMC and as such is the only one with the patience to deal with the council when it comes to placing the banners advertising our events, whatever you do though DO NOT mention the banners EVER as he will spend the next 15 minutes ranting incoherently about various members of Tameside council. Don’t let that put you off him though, if you need a hand Les is usually the first to volunteer and will often take over jobs he feels aren’t being done properly. Les currently rides a Triumph trophy and owns most of a bandit 1200.

Phil Green.
Phil is from the old school of biking, as such he still writes everything on a slate and communicates only by telegram. It has been noticed that no matter how much Phil drinks there’s is no marked change in his personality, it has been suggested that this is perhaps because he doesn’t have one. He is a genius when it comes to packing for a rally, the only person with more luggage space than Phil is Dr Who. Phil currently rides a Honda Valkyrie and a Honda Goldwing

Tom Higson.
The club photographer, commonly seen holding either a pint of Guinness or his camera, often in each hand. Tom likes the ladies, though they don’t like him much, he’s a filthy old pervert with a penchant for leather and whips. Don’t get him wrong though, he’s a decent guy and he won’t take shit from anyone and he especially won’t let anyone take shit they don’t deserve. Tom currently owns a VFR750 which he wants rid of so he can get a cruiser instead, he’s getting old after all.

‘Bonnie Bob’ Taylor.
Another founding member and it sometimes it seems of half the clubs in the country, everybody knows Bob and if you don’t you soon will. Whether its dementia or some kind of severe brain damage induced nostalgia, Bob is convinced he still lives in the 60’s, in his eyes Britain is the centre of the universe and if it isn’t it bloody well should be. Known for picking fights with local authorities and sometimes entire governments Bob is the person to call when the man is getting you down because not only will he fight any damned government busybody with the audacity to breathe in his presence he’ll probably win. Be warned DO NOT MENTION THE WAR! Bob doesn’t so much ride bikes as he does collect them, his garage is more museum than anything else. Most often seen riding a Royal Enfield (when it works) or a Triumph Bonneville.

Adam ‘Princess’ Hollingworth.
Adam is the clubs youngest member and widely considered to be as reliable as a chocolate brake disk. Provided it doesn’t take too much effort he’ll do anything for you, or at least say he will and shows up about as often as Halley’s comet. We think Adam owns a GSXR750 but none of us can remember the last time we saw it in one functional piece.

Alan Beckwith.
Al is the clubs resident expert, no matter what it is you need help with you can be confident that Al is an all knowing messiah with a basis of no previous experience or knowledge of the matter. He is however highly proficient at bike repairs which is handy because he’s also a genius when it comes to breaking them, his mere presence can cause normally indestructible parts to crumble like they’re made of biscuit, a trait he probably picked up from Les. Al currently rides a Pan European and a CBR1000

Colin Whitfield
Colin is your stereotypical grumpy old man. For the love of god do not wake him up or he’ll spend the next three days rambling about young people, the price of fuel, foreigners and the benefits office occasionally forgetting what he was talking about and starting all over again from the very beginning. That being said he’s always up for a ride or a pint and if he can stay awake for long enough he’s actually quite funny. Colin rides a Jin Lun, a Yamaha FJ1200 and probably a couple of others by now.

Johnny 'Gaffer' Wilmott
Johnny is your typical Manc in every way imaginable, he’s got the horrible accent, horrendous dress sense and he can take the wheels off your car before the lights change, if he could put them back on as quickly he’d be a one man formula one pit crew. That being said he’s a good cook and a good laugh and because he doesn’t drink he can and will remind you of everything you did the night before. Yeah. Thanks for that. Gaffer can’t seem to make up his mind what he wants to ride, either a GPZ, Triumph Tiger or CBR

Kayleigh Smith
You’d be forgiven for not noticing Kayleigh when you look around the room, seeing as she starts so far below eye level and is generally very quiet but you'll soon spot her seeing as how your eyes are magnetically drawn downwards, its amazing she can get leathers that fit... Its also completely understandable when people mistake her for being sweet and innocent, an image she works very hard to maintain. In actual fact she’s got quite the mouth on her, easily able to hold her own with any of our other members and is actually extremely vocal and bossy, especially towards Mat and has been known to dress up to sell more raffle tickets, its surprising how many she can shift with a pair of skin tight leggings and a low cut top